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October 06 Dancing for Joy!As regards the pictures and titles . . . my dissertation proposal is in the hands of my committee. A huge step in this dissertation process and that's why I'm dancing. The committee has 10 days to review it and then I have a meeting scheduled with them for discussion. My committee chair already told me she's very happy with it. As some of you know it has taken me a full year to write 3 chapters of the 5 required. I figure it will take another year to actually interview research participants (formerly called subjects) and write the final two chapters analyzing the results and final conclusions.
On a different but related note, in her latest post Katheryn Magendie talked about strength training and form. As a former dancer, I can tell you that the floor to ceiling mirrors in dance studios serve a very definite purpose. Pound for pound, a classically trained dancer has more strength, stamina, and agility than a professional football player. I will quote Celia Sparger, a noted dance teacher and author of many books of ballet technique. I have taken the liberty of translating the ballet terms for those of you not familiar with them.
The Structured Format: [O]ne thing is certain, that her first and last lessons will begin with plie's (bending of the knees) at the barre (the bar as seen behind Leeza) and continue through a series of barre exercises, repeated in the centre (center of the dance floor with no bar to help steady the dancer), and finishing with changements de pieds (rapid changes of the feet), or similar movements of elevation (basically this is the warmup for all dancers, beginners through prima ballerinas). The details of the lesson will vary but the essentials will never vary. Whatever may be the vocal language in which the lesson is conducted, the language of the body will be the same plie's, grand battements (high kick that Paloma is demonstrating), battements tendu (the toe on the floor before and after completing a grand battement), and de'veloppe's (a movement in which the working leg is drawn up and slowly extended to an open position in the air and held there with perfect control). This is the alphabet of ballet which distinguishes ballet dancing from any other, and it has been used for some 200 years as the foundation for that training which produces ultimately the beauty of movement, strength, endurance, poise, agility, and speed unequalled in any other system (Sparger, 1970, p. 9).
I started my career as a dance therapist (before nursing and family therapy) and will write later about my experiences working with girls who had emotional problems. Once I get started writing or talking about ballet, it's hard for me to stop.
Blessings,
Caroline August 03 Good-by, Au revoir, Adios, Auf WiedersenWell, my blogging friends, I'm going to take my leave of your company. I have appreciated the time I spent getting to know you. I've come to realize I need the immediacy of voice, gaze, and touch in order to feel like a real friend. I spoke with a friend today and we talked and laughed for an hour by phone. I wish I had that kind of relationship with all of you.
The problem with blogging (for me) is that many times we only know what others want us to know about them unless there's a slip. I challenged a rather nice man (I thought) about one of his comments on another blog. He came after me like a junkyard dog. The venom and ugliness of his attack was startling. I immediately deleted his entry as it was too toxic to leave on my post. That was very early in my posting days and I learned very quickly to only say what I thought people wanted me to say. There are, of course, many of you who are thoughtful about my questions and comments. Laoch is one, and Silvery Lizard, God bless her, is an outstanding example.
This is not to leave out my other blogging friends. Sweet Dee and Marilyn always leave me feeling relaxed. Jay (the modern day St. Francis) is an uplifting example to the rest of us with her photos and true-to-life animal stories. Greg is a knight in shining armor with words of comfort and support. His moving pictures are also laugh-provoking. I chuckled over the 'happy birthday girl' every time I opened my site. The only reason I deleted it was because it was distracting from a very serious post I wrote later. Were you wondering why I deleted it, Greg? Ebony Dragon is an uplifting example of courage and love that I wish I could inject into my clients. Ebony, you need to bottle that love and patience and send it to me.
Paul Goodness and I have not spent enough time together, but maybe he'll tell me what hotep means before I sign off. Check out his site. Many of his posts are about minority issues that are relevant and intelligently stated. I can relate to many of them. Just Linda is another portrait in patience and hope. Despite it all, she keeps on smiling and looking toward the day she can be a full-time working girl again. And she's got a new dog that she's training herself to train. Lucky puppy!
I can never adequately thank all of you who helped me through the grief process when I was losing and then lost my little Bobby McGee . . . and shortly after that, my good friend, Ron. That was a very difficult time and so many of you shared your caring and concern. Thank you! Now Kathryn Magendie is going through the same hard time. I've given her love and support even as all of you gave me.
You all came through again when I asked for volunteers to answer the question about a 'turning point' in your lives. My advisor was very impressed with the information you shared. There may be an article in the future but with all identifiers deleted of course.
Now that I'm saying good-by it seems as if there's so much more I want to say. But unfortunately, I just don't have the time. As Dee said, it is very time-consuming to blog and I hardly have time to turn around and see where I've been. I just finished a presentation (Friday) at an agency that works with emotionally fragile children. I took a week out of my messertation research to research my presentation topic, 'Trauma Related Behaviors in Children'. I continued to see clients at both my offices. I went from the two hour presentation (12:00 to 2:00) to see a client (3:30) at the outlying office which happened to be in the same town. Then it was back to my home office to see a client at 6:00 pm. I missed the opera I was going to attend with my son because I was just too tired. The opera was a student presentation at the local university. I was sorry I missed it because a young friend was singing the lead.
But of course, I'd rather be busy than not have enough to do. God has blessed me with good physical and emotional health and lots of stamina and if a busy mind keeps the dreaded Alzheimer's at bay, I should have lifetime immunity. I will miss all of you. Thinking about you doesn't take any time out of my day. It's wonderful having spent time with you even if we couldn't do it in real time and at a real place.
Blessings on you and your families,
Caroline July 16 Addendum to I'm It!!Well, I've been tagged by the the Lizard. Curses! I'm going to have to think about this. So do all y'all want superficials or deep dark secrets? (Like that's really going to happen!)
Caroline
July 22 So here goes:
1. Each person tagged posts the rules before their list.
2. The tagee lists eight things about themselves
3. At the end of the post the tagee tags and links to eight other people.
4. Then visits those peoples' sites and comments letting them know they've been tagged and have to come to the tagee's post and
read the instructions so they know what to do.
My list:
1. I love to garden and read for pleasure (not at the same time).
2. My research has become fascinating rather than a chore (I should be submitting my proposal by Sept. 1)
3. I love classical music and bluegrass equally (love that five string banjo).
4. I was considered a brainiac as a kid and hated it. I wanted to be beautiful like my sister.
5. Last year I drove 68 miles roundtrip to take an injured young bird (Cardinal)
to the only wild songbird rehabber within driving distance.
6. One of my pet peeves is people who always have to make themselves the
center of every conversation no matter what is being discussed.
7. My other pet peeve is people who use wikipedia as a citation when it is
absolutely the most unreliable source of information available on the
internet. When I see 'wikipedia' I hear fingernails on a blackboard and stop reading.
8. I have OCD about accuracy and credibility. Blame my profs.
9. I'm only tagging people I think won't mind. Also, I think a lot of people have already been tagged.
So Kathryn Magendie, Just Linda, and Jay, you're it.
Cheers,
Caroline
June 25 Help, I'm sinking!Does anyone remember how to play 'Battleship'? The set belonged to my sons and why I kept it all these years is beyond me. I couldn't believe all the ships and pegs were still present and accounted for. I recently resurrected it and thought I would use it in play therapy with a little girl who is quite competitive.
Please help me out as there are no instructions and I have a fuzzy idea how to play it but I'm not sure.
Thanks,
Blessings on all of you,
Caroline May 20 Re: FriendsHi, All,
I want to address the 'friends' subject. I have recently turned down a couple of requests. It's not personal and I hope you didn't take it personally. I just don't see the need for it. Unless a space is restricted, one can comment on anyone's space. I have commented regularly on certain posts and have received return comments regularly and we're not even 'friends'. On the other hand, I have 'friends' listed who never comment on my post. That's OK. It just validates my position that 'friends' is a rather meaningless concept in the world of weblogs. If you're interested in what I have to say, you'll comment. If not, you won't. If I find your posts interesting, I'll comment, if not, I won't. We don't need a special designation called 'friends' to do that.
Cheers,
Caroline May 05 Play Therapy Well, I'm going to try again and hope I don't accidentally delete the entry again. Now where was I? I guess I'll start over.
When adults have problems they may go to a therapist or a counselor. They articulate their problems and feelings and describe their behaviors to the therapist. When children have problems they don't have the experience, insight, or vocabulary to articulate their problems and feelings. It is through play that children demonstrate what is bothering them.
Play is the language of children. Play objects, or toys, are their words!
So what exactly is play therapy?
Does the play therapist "play" with the child? No. In some cases, based on the theory, the therapist may interact actively with the child as the child plays; in other cases, the therapist is simply with the child and only tracks the child's behavior as the child plays. The key element of play therapy is that the child feels accepted by the therapist in a caring, permissive atmosphere. The permissiveness is necessary so the child feels trusting enough to reveal fears and problems through play that have been bottled up.
The therapy takes place in a special playroom or area that has toys and objects a child can utilize to demonstrate his difficulties.
There are only three hard and fast rules in the play therapy room: she may not hurt the therapist, she may not hurt herself, and she may not deliberately break anything (accidents do happen and are treated matter-of-factly by the therapist).
Play therapy is appropriate for children between the ages of 3 and up to 9 or 10. As older children are often more insightful and articulate I will often use therapeutic board games specifically designed for kids to express ideas, thoughts, and feelings. The therapist will also play the board game and also express thoughts and feelings that will help the child feel free to speak up. Board games are also great for sibling and parent participation. The therapist can observe the family dynamics: how they talk to each other, what the parents expect from the their children, and how the children behave in the presence of their parents.
Questions parents have when their child attends play therapy:
When does my child need play therapy? When their behavior becomes problematic either at school, at home, or with other children. Or if there is an unusual change in behavior as when a loud, boisterous child becomes very quiet, or when a very quiet child begins acting out.
What if my child does something 'bad' during therapy? Because there is much more freedom in the play therapy room than in other areas of the child's life, every thought and action will be accepted by the play therapist. This freedom permits the child to feel trusting enough to reveal fears and problems. So there is no such thing as 'bad' behavior. Do not ask your child to 'behave' during the play therapy session.
What do I tell the therapist? Those recent events in the child's life to which the child has reacted strongly, or differently than usual. Do not give the child the responsibility of reporting events. Don't tell your child to "be sure and tell the therapist" as the child may feel he's done something wrong or feel pressured to explain things that he doesn't really understand.
Will my child expect as much freedom at home as in the play therapy room? Not generally. Even very young children quickly learn there are different rules for different places.
How will I know what my child does in therapy? You won't. Therapy works because children learn that what they do in the playroom is not shared with anyone. If the child wishes to share what happens, that's OK, but don't ask your child what he did, or did he have fun in the playroom (a common mistake parents make. They assume their kids are having fun because it's 'play'). Progress and general issues will be discussed with the parents without sharing specifics.
Will I be blamed for my child's problems? No, the nice thing about play therapy is that blame is never placed on anyone. The child learns to cope with problems whether they are real or imagined. The therapist never judges as to how the problems got started.
How should I dress my child for therapy? In comfortable, washable play clothes. Spills and stains should be accepted calmly by the parents.
How should I talk to my child about therapy? Don't ask questions about what transpired in the play therapy room. If the child wants to share, that's fine. If she wants to be quiet, don't press her. It's OK to acknowledge to the child, "I bet you've been working hard in there." Also, don't tell a child their painting or other made-item is 'good' or 'wonderful'. A simple comment such as , "I see you made a painting," or "look at that," is sufficient and permits the child to say what they want (or not) about their creation.
Why does my child need to come once a week? Some parents wonder why they can't just bring their child when he is demonstrating problems. Problems take time to resolve and a child may feel relieved and act just fine after a few play therapy sessions. However it's necessary to continue the therapy in order for children to settle in and begin to feel comfortable displaying the problems that are bothering them. Children do plan ahead and want to know that every Friday ot 1:00 (or whatever time and day) is their special hour and that she can count on it.
To be continued... and please feel free to ask any questions about any part of this post or about play therapy in general. I will just add on as I continue the post. I'm covering general stuff right now. I'll go a little bit into the different theories, and finally, I'll talk about some of my cases (in a very general sense, of course).
Caroline
April 27 The Little Prince"Who are you?" asked the little prince, and added, "You are very pretty to look at."
"I am a fox," the fox said.
"Come and play with me," proposed the little prince. "I am so unhappy."
"I cannot play with you," the fox said. "I am not tamed."
"Ah! Please excuse me," said the little prince.
But after some thought he added:
"What does that mean - 'tame' ?"
"You do not live here," said the fox. "What is it that you are looking for?"
"I am looking for men," said the little prince. "What does that mean - 'tame' ?
"Men," said the fox. "They have guns, and they hunt. It is very disturbing.
They also raise chickens. These are their only interests. Are you looking for chickens?"
"No," said the little prince. "I am looking for friends. What does that mean -'tame' ?"
"It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. "It means to establish ties."
" 'To establish ties' ?"
"Just that," said the fox, "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, Then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world . . . "
"I am beginning to understand," said the little prince.
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery-
April 07 Better Late than Never!Well, I have felt better! I still have a fever, (L) chest pain, a hacking cough, and didn't go to church today. Hmmm, I must really be sick!. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow if I can get in. This week I'm full up with clients and I don't want to cancel any of them. On the other hand I don't want to be hacking surreptitiously into my sleeve.
The 'Better Late than Never' refers to posting my workplace space. I didn't know there was such a day on spaces but it seems like a fun thing to do. Kind of like 'take your fellow bloggers to work' day. What the photos show is my desk in my patient consulting room.
Actually I cleaned it up a little. Normally I have papers and books stacked in every usable space except on the keyboard. My desk top was custom-made to my specifications and fits beautifully on the file cabinets. The shelf above the desk has no visible support. It's really neat because I don't have to put nails in the wall to hold my pictures of my kids. I do have my diploma and license hanging to the left of the shelf but you can't see that (oh I guess you can). Besides the pictures of my kids and my dad I have a framed card that says "Before I was married I had Three Theories about raising Children. Now I have three Children and No Theories." I think a lot of us can relate to that.
I also have a child's drawing of a very sad face that was on an earlier post. It was done by a very unhappy little client of mine. It's to remind me that all children need love and understanding. There is a very small piece of paper taped to the shelf that is a haiku by Issa:
O Snail
Climb Mount Fuji
But Slowly, Slowly
It doesn't follow the 5-7-5 rule because it was written in Japanese. So in Japanese it follows the rule. But you knew that didn't you!! I love that haiku and have it typed up in large letters that I give to clients. It's to remind them to be gentle in their expectations of change with each other (and my expectations of change for them as well). I tell them to tape it to the bathroom mirror where they can see it every day. Mine is taped where I can see it every day!
The books on the desk are research for my dissertation. The very large one is a book dealing with the legalities of my topic. It's fascinating but labor intensive. The other one deals with the rhetoric of public discourse and the way it's used to influence social change. It, too, is fascinating. The papers next to the big book is my reference list to date. I think I have 10 pages of references so far. I was thinking of posting a photo of the research mess on my dining room table but you'd think, "Nah, she's just trying to impress us." The picture on my desk is of Bobby McGee and my granddaughter. Almost every picture I have of him he's posing with a young female. He really liked the ladies.
Oh, yes, I also have two items that you will recognize as indispensible to a well-run workplace space, i.e., a cuppa coffee and a paper shredder. I've included a photo of one other item that is one of my absolute favorites. My son is a composer and one year for my birthday he arranged a melody for me and put it in a little birthday card. Can you guess what it is?
Well, I think that's it for now. I'd best try and get some sleep after I dosed myself with aspirin and green tea. I wish I had honey and lemon as well, as was suggested by the DragonLady, but I don't. Ummmmm, honey would be luscious in a piping hot cup of tea. Well, when I go to the doctor tomorrow I'll pick some up.
Thanks for all your good wishes,
Blessings on your houses,
Caroline
Addendum: At this rate I'm never going to get to bed. But I have one more important item to write about. There is a tiny kitty sitting on my desk. I took a picture of him so you could appreciate his cheerful smile and the significance of his color and raised paw. Here's the whole story:
From ancient days many stories have been told about the lucky cat.
Japanese people love to have them as mascots, to bring good fortune, to invite happiness, and to bring prosperity to businesses. In Japan they are placed at the entrance of houses and in store windows.
There is a famous story about an extremely poor temple whose cat beckoned to a traveller who was sitting under a tree outside its gates. He decided to accept the cat's invitation and just as he decided to come in and just as he moved away from the tree, it was struck by lightening. The stranger turned out to be extremely rich and he became the temple's patron, making it extremely wealthy.
There are several different varieties of Maneki-neko and they all have different meanings. The white lucky cat is valued as the one that invites happiness. The black one protects you from illness.The golden lucky cat is the one that brings you riches. Cats with the right paw raised are beckoning in good fortune and cats with the left paw raised are beckoning in customers.
When I was asked which one I wanted as gift, I chose the white cat with the right paw raised and the big smile on its face.
Tired hugs and blessings to all my buds,
Caroline
April 03 Work-time!Well, all good things must come to an end. The snow is gone and so's my guy. Actually, he was just passing through on his way to New Mexico. I've known him a good long time and he stopped in for a while as he has family and friends (me) here in Texas. It was fun and I actually brushed up on my cooking. I took a break from the dissertation. He called it my messertation because of the mess on the table; books, files, typewritten pages and pages. Now it's time to get back to work. Unfortunately I began running a fever today after I saw one client. I canceled another and caught up on my reading when I started feeling better. The book is Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch, PhD. You can find it in your local big box bookstore. It's well-written and a great read for those of you who are in marriages or relationships that could use a little more energy. It's especially good for people not in a relationship but are considering one. It turns the reader's head upside down concerning the old notions about intimacy, sexuality, and spirituality. It's written for the layman so there's no jargon. Schnarch also uses case histories which makes it even more engaging. I have my couples read it and it really impresses them with the new perspectives on marriage and relationship. It's a great jumping-off point for discussions about their marriage.
What I especially like about Schnarch's style is the way he tells couples to maintain their integrity as individuals-in-relationship. He says don't underline passages as a hint for the partner or leave the book open at special places for the partner to read. He tells each one to get their own book with their own money and apply what he's written to him or herself.
Well, I've started hacking again so I'm going to have a cup of hot, green tea and toddle off to dreamland. At least that's where I hope I'm going despite this hacking cough.
Cheers with green tea,
Caroline March 14 Well, I had Fun!!Hi, Everyone,
I'm taking a quick break. We had a record-breaking snow last week. The last time Texas had record snow it was four inches in 1924. This year it was six inches. I had a blast taking pictures. I didn't include all of them because they were redundant. My guy spent nine years in Vermont and when the snow started coming he was amused at first. Then he got annoyed and then the cussing started and intensified with each inch of snow cover. If he wanted snow he would have stayed in Vermont he kept muttering to himself.
But I have to give him credit. His daughter called and asked him to pick up his granddaughter at daycare because she was stuck at work. Well, he got in the truck and got stuck IN FRONT of the the house. I watched him rock the truck back and forth and he finally got it moving. How well I remember those days when I lived up North. He said the strange thing was that we had six inches here in our town but ten miles down the interstate it was just raining. He got to the daycare early. 'Course then I had to listen to his complaints about the crazy drivers. But he always growls and complains with a smile in his eyes.
I'll stay in touch,
Hugs to all my buds,
Caroline
February 19 Strange Things are Happening!Well, last week I had entered a great post on play therapy. When I attempted to publish it, nothing happened. It just sat here, limply. I finagled around and ended up deleting that entry as well as the entry before it that gave a general explanation of play therapy. Unfortunately I don't have time to post an interesting and informative play therapy post just yet.
I'm working like crazy on my dissertation. We hope I can propose on April 7th. That means I have to have the first three chapters written: Introduction, Literature Review, and Methodology. After my committee approves my proposal, it goes to the IRB, the folks who make sure we're not doing strange things to people. After they approve it, I can begin to do the actual research study with live people.
I have appointments every week with my advisor which is both a good and a bad thing. It means that I HAVE to work on it, but it also means I have a lot of pressure. So that's why I haven't been around lately. Let's hope I can post this entry without any accidents.
I hope all y'all are well.
Caroline January 23 Good-By, Ron No man is an island
entire of itself.
Any man's death diminishes me
because I am involved in mankind;
and therefore;
never send to know
for whom the bell tolls;
it tolls for thee.
John Donne
My friend, Ron, died Sunday.
It was a terrible shock. We were in the doctoral program together since 2003. We had many classes together. He was very bright, funny, and kind. He had finished the doc program and graduated in Fall, 2006 with his PhD. He was thrilled.
In October he attended a dissertation defense and appeared to be in perfect health. At the beginning of November he became weak and uncoordinated. He started dropping things because his hands refused to grasp. He couldn't button his shirt. He kept missing his mouth with his fork or spoon when he tried to eat.
In mid-December he was diagnosed with variant Creutzfeldt-Jacob Disease: the human form of bovine spongiform encephalopathy or more commonly called "mad cow disease." At the beginning of January he was put in the hospice program. On Jan. 20th he died. I'm glad it was so quick. A man so full of life shouldn't have to be so aware of what he's losing as he's losing it. Friday he's being buried. I'll be there to say good-by along with many others of us who knew and loved him. He was 52 years old!
Tearfully, Caroline January 21 Puzzled!!I have a question. When someone says, "you, s/he hurt my feelings," what exactly do they mean?
I hear that all the time in my practice. It's always women saying it. Either to their husbands or about siblings or in-laws. I don't think I've ever heard a male say it. It's one of those universal comments that a lot of women make and thinks everyone else knows exactly what they mean. But what do they mean exactly?
I need to clarify that I know what it means when it's said in my office. But human beings are meaning-making machines and I'd like to know what it means to the individuals who happen to read this post. I'd appreciate some comments on this. This has nothing to do with my research. It was said to me recently. Someone thought they might hurt my feelings and I said no, not likely, and I have my own reasons as to why people can't hurt my feelings.
So how do you men feel when you hear a wife, partner, girlfriend, mother, or sister say this?
Caroline the Curious
By the way, I finally got all the pictures taken of the play therapy room. I'll post them when I post the play therapy blog. January 15 Really BusyHi, Everyone,
I haven't blogged and probably won't for awhile because I'm up to my eyeballs in research. It's pretty fascinating stuff so I don't mind. Just want to be done with the major part of it by May! I would appreciate prayers to that end.
I want to blog about play therapy and what it is and how we do it. So stay tuned.
Be well,
Caroline. January 07 Politics: Dangerous WatersCheck out Laoch of Chicago's Jan. 5th blog. He's posted a link to a political choice quiz that may surprise readers who take the quiz. Apparently it shows presidential candidate preferences that they, the quiztakers, were not even aware of. It seems that to some it's more important to 'like' a candidate than to know his/her political agenda. This is not an indictment of people's feelings. Rather it is a cautionary statement that people think through their political choices rather than rely on feelings.This is an extremely important election. Thoughtful awareness is key.
Be well,
Caroline
December 31 New Year's Eve, 1996Well, I've been strolling around blogville checking out people and their plans for welcoming in the New Year. Some seem to have already gotten a start with the giggle juice and others are harrumphing, grumping, and bah, humbugging. I just finished a portion of a chapter on my dissertation so that feels pretty good. I only have four chapters + 55% to go. Hey, that's progress. I'm celebrating my accomplishment and the New Year by typing this memoir and then going to bed. I'm nursing a horrendous cold. I was bragging that I hadn't been sick since quitting the hospital. Big mistake. I had a little play therapy client who was hacking and sneezing all over the playroom. Guess who's hacking and sneezing now.
My most memorable New Year's Eve happened when I was working at a rehab hospital on the 3-11 shift. I usually worked New Year's Eve to free up the folks who wanted to party. I was working with an old man who had a bad pneumonia and needed suctioning. I won't describe the procedure. Suffice it to say it's not pleasant for the patient or the nurse. The patient was an old man, maybe not so old, but a long term alcoholic so he looked really old. Actually we were a physical rehab hospital, not an addictions hospital so I'm not sure why he was there in the first place. Besides of which he had pneumonia and should have been in an acute care hospital..
At any rate, I got the equipment I needed, explained the procedure to the patient and shut the door so if he hollered it wouldn't disturb anyone else. It must have been about 10 pm, almost time for shift change. I started the procedure. I had to hold his head with one hand and place the catheter with the other. Well, he wasn't as out of it as I had hoped. He grabbed my hand with the catheter and bit down. I moved fast enough that he only caught my little finger. I started to screech for help. Mind you, this was an old man who probably hadn't seen the inside of a dentist's office in years. As I was screeching there was a discreet knock on the door and a gentle voice inquired if I needed help. It was the ditzyest nurse on the unit. Of course she would knock and gently inquire before entering. That's what they teach you in nursing school for pete's sake!!! Never mind emergencies!!! In the meantime I was sure my little finger was about to be grossly amputated. And I do mean gross! I screeched louder, she finally opened the door, took one look, and ran and got someone else who helped me pry the old man's mouth open. My little finger had a gash at the base and was turning blue. We called the nursing supervisor who cleaned my finger, gave me a tetanus shot, called the lab tech on call to draw my blood and the old man's blood, and we wrote up an incident report.
Now you must remember this was a rehab hospital. We didn't have a laboratory for routine blood draws. We didn't have a pharmacy that could dispense antibiotics. All those services were contracted out. In fact, if we had a code blue, we had to dial 911 for the EMTs. I kid you not. The first time I witnessed someone in cardiac arrest I jumped in to start CPR and I almost flipped out when the other nurse dialled 911.
I digress.
The lab tech was not a happy camper because he had to make a trip to the hospital on New Year's Eve for a blood draw at 10:30 pm for pete's sake! All hospital policies mandate a blood draw from patient and victim to insure the patient doesn't have anything the victim might contract later. The lab tech assured me with a grin that the patient probably had been an alcoholic so long that nothing bad could grow in his blood. I was not amused. The shift ended, I gave report, took my prescription that the doc on call had called in to the charge nurse (Another little detail. There are no doctors on the units of a rehab hospital. They make rounds in the mornings and that's it) and started looking for a pharmacy on New Year's Eve. Actually, I'm being dramatic. Before I left the hospital, we looked up pharmacies on our contracted pharmacy list and actually found one that was open. So I went and commiserated with the pharmacist about being with him on New Year's Eve instead of in my car on the way home. I always enjoyed being in the middle of some intersection and knowing it was midnight because everyone out and about would sound their car horns. I also knew it was generally too early for the really dangerous drivers to be out. So I celebrated the New Year and my close call with traumatic amputation by pounding on my car horn too.
Well, there is a sad ending to this story. The little old man died two days later. And no, I didn't have anything to do with it. I wasn't even there!
So Happy New Year. Blow your car horn, and have a wonderful, blessed 2008!
Be well, Caroline
BTW, I'm still looking for respondents. Please feel free to continue answering "the question." December 09 The Question The Question: Think about a turning point in your life. What effect did it have on you?
Rules for answering the question:
1. Don't mention the specific incident that was your turning point. Only if you want to.
2. Don't read others' comments before you formulate your response. It's important that you not be influenced by anyone else's response.
3. If you prefer not to post your response in the "comments" then please send it to me in "send a message."
4. Please state in a general sense what your occupation is.
5. Please also state whether you are Anglo-American, Native, Black or Latin-American, Asian, Arabic or Jewish-American or any other ethnic group I may not have mentioned. You don't have to be from the U.S. either. We're trying to get a more diverse group. Too many of the current dissertations seem to target only Anglo-Americans and that's a real weakness of the research because Anglos don't comprise the majority of the U.S. population anymore by a very large percentage. The research is more valid if it is representative of the general population. So far I've gotten only one Latina response.
All answers will be anonymous. There will be no identifying names!
I have already gotten 18 responses from various people among my clients, family members, and incidental others I run into. I type them out verbatim and my advisor and I read them to make sure the respondents have answered in a way that validates the descriptor, "turning point." We will probably have a paragraph or two in my dissertation under "Methods" that will describe how I standardized and validated the question. So all of you as a group will definitely be mentioned in the finished project.
Thanks to all of you who are helping me with this dissertation project.
Most sincerely and muchos (((((abrazos)))),
Caroline
December 05 I Need Your Help. Seriously!Well, I'm glad to say I'm getting along OK. Every so often I think I see Bobby out of the corner of my eye and I'm always calling the Little One by Bobby's name. I know he doesn't mind because he misses him too. But life goes on and fortunately I've had to keep busy with a project known as "The Dissertation!".
I know there's a spaces game called tag when someone tags another blogger and the tagged one has to tell eight things about her or himself. Well, nobody tagged me and that's perfectly alright. But in order to get your help I need to tell you something about me.
I'm a therapist as you can read in my profile. I have a master's degree which permitted me to get a license and practice my profession. But I wanted more (more agony some would say). So I went back for my doctorate. I'm exhausted and thrilled to say that I completed my comprehensive exams and subsequent oral defense. It was three grueling days of sitting at a computer for eight hours (one hour break for lunch) and answering anything our profs wanted to throw at us in written form. The questions and scenarios covered all the coursework from both the masters and the doctoral program just completed. The oral defense was two weeks later and included anything the professors thought we didn't answer correctly or completely. After two hours of grilling me (it's solo compared to comps where there were other masochists in the room insanely typing away along with me), they sent me out of the room, and decided my fate. My major professor called me back in and OMG I made it!! I threw my arms around him and gave him a big kiss. He said, "you're so anxious." Ya Think? I was too exhausted to do anything except go home, call my major support system (my son), tell him I passed, and go to bed.
Well, comps were in late September and orals were in early October. Fortunately Bobby was still doing pretty well. I think he knew I was under stress and didn't want to put me through any more. Bless his little heart! In November he started his slide and you know the rest.
So now I've started on my dissertation. It's the last major test of compliance demanded by Academia. At least that's what my major professor is always saying. At any rate, I decided on a topic that is very relevant and that had come up time and again in my work with couples. What the topic is doesn't matter in terms of getting your help. Let me explain further. Most dissertations explore something. They may be pure research (mucho, macho math and statistics), may be social research (mucho subjective meanings) or a combination of the two. That's called mixed methods research for some strange reason. All research starts with a question (the statistics guys like to call it a hypothesis) called, oddly enough, a research question. My research question has to be stated in such a way that it holds the same meaning for all my research participants. In the old days they were called "subjects" but I think the IRB (the folks who make sure we're not creating new Frankenstein monters) changed it because it sounded too much like we were doing something "to" people instead of requesting their participation. Actually in the bad old days people did have things done "to" them without their consent. Think Tuskegee experiments or the army's LSD experiments. So the IRB does serve a good purpose other than to throw up roadblocks and generally make life miserable for us PhDcees. The small c stands for candidate. Now that I've passed two of the last three major tests of compliance I've been baptized with a PhDc. And boy do I feel blessed!
I've gone on long enough about me. So now what I want to do is tell you about the general research question. The point of getting a lot of different people to answer it is so I can standardize the question in case it needs some tweaking. All you have to do is answer the question plus tell me what your occupation is in a general sense or was if you're retired. OK that's all for now. Tomorrow I will post just the question....and so on and so forth.
Until tomorrow or maybe the next day or even the next day or the day after that....
Caroline, PhDc
(That looks so nice, even with the little c!)
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